Ep 159: Sydni’s Birth Story – Rising to the Challenge of Parenthood

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Sydni had her son at 19 and is now 25. Even though Sydni’s story is from a few years ago, there’s still a lot to learn from it. She had her baby a little early at 36 weeks and you’ll hear about how, after a slower start, things went super fast - so fast it shocked her mother and caused her to faint at the hospital!

She had her baby at a young age and although it forced her to step up, her partner at the time didn’t necessarily do the same. She also found out that some of her friends weren’t necessarily true friends. But now Sydni’s getting ready to get married, she’s in school and happy and doing well. You really do become a new person after you have a baby and Sydni was really intentional about becoming a better version of herself which is amazing.

In this Episode, You’ll Learn About:

  • How rotating through all of the doctors at the practice made Sydni feel comfortable giving birth with whomever was on staff
  • What made Sydni opt for an epidural after having planned for an unmedicated birth
  • What it was like to jump from 6cm to 9 ½ cm in five minutes
  • Why it’s ok to prioritize your wishes and needs over what your friends and family might want
  • How and why she plans to do things differently with the next baby
  • Who stayed in her life and who didn’t after she became a mom
  • How she shifted her life from being a teen to being a parent
  • How her baby inspired her to change for the better

Links Mentioned in the Episode

Keywords

birth, birth stories, early parenthood, formula, late preterm, swelling, water retention

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Keywords

birth, birth stories, early parenthood, formula, late preterm, swelling, water retention

Categories

Podcast

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Ep 159: Sydni’s Birth Story – Rising to the Challenge of Parenthood

Nicole: This is another great birth story episode brought to you by Lansinoh. Welcome to the All About Pregnancy & Birth podcast. I'm Dr. Nicole Calloway Rankins, a board certified OB GYN, who's been in practice for nearly 15 years. I've had the privilege of helping over 1000 babies into this world, and I'm here to help you be calm, confident, and empowered to have a beautiful pregnancy and birth. Quick note, this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice. Check out the full disclaimer at drnicolerankins.com/disclaimer. Now let's get to it.

Nicole: Hello there. Welcome to another episode of the podcast. This is episode number 159. I am so glad that you spending a bit of your time with me today. So in today's episode of the podcast, we have a lovely birth story episode with Sydni. Sydni is 24 years old and she had her son when she was 19. She is also the bonus mama to a sassy six year old daughter. Now, even though Sydni's story is from a few years ago, there is still alot to learn from it. Sydni had her baby a little early at 36 weeks, and you will hear about how after a slower start, things went super fast. She's just an example of how unpredictable labor can be. And things actually went so fast that it shocked her mother and caused her mother to faint at the hospital. Don't worry she's okay. Sydni also had her baby at a young age and although it forced her to step up her partner at the time didn't necessarily do the same.

Nicole: And she also found out that some of her friends weren't necessarily her true friends after she had a baby, but now Sydni is getting ready to get married. She's in school. She's happy. She's doing well. She has a great relationship with her child's father, and you really do become a new person after you have a baby. And Sydni was really intentional about becoming a better version of herself, which is amazing. And which is why I think you will love this story. Now, one of the things you're going to hear Sydni talk about is how she wishes she would've accepted more help postpartum. Well, let me tell you about something that you will definitely want to use to help you postpartum. And that is the postpartum recovery products from this episode sponsor Lansinoh their birth prep and recovery postpartum care line has some amazing products, including an upside down postpartum wash bottle.

Nicole: It is much better than the one you get at the hospital. These fantastic hot and cold therapy packs. I love these. They can get hot in the microwave or cold in the freezer and they change colors, whether or not they're hot or cold. They're also reusable. They have postpartum herbal sprays and more. I have actually put my hands on all of these products and they really are fantastic. Not gonna recommend anything to you that I really don't believe in myself. So that's why I'm really excited to share those products with you today. And you can learn more about the entire birth prep and recovery postpartum line at lansinoh.com/aapb. That is Lansinoh L a N S I N O h.com/a a P B. All right, let's get into the conversation with Sydni. Thank you so much, Sydni, for agreeing to come on the podcast. I am excited to have you share your birth story.

Sydni: Me too. I'm really excited.

Nicole: All right. So why don't we start off by having you tell us a bit about yourself and your family.

Sydni: Okay. Um, I am 25. I had my son when I was 19. Um, he was healthy, happy. He was, it was pretty easy. Um, I now have a stepdaughter who's six, and so we're kind of just blending our family. I'm getting married in April, so oh, exciting.

Nicole: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So your birth story then is, is, is a little bit older. I'm curious. What made you wanna share it?

Sydni: Um, I just feel like I had a really like crazy birth experience. It's like, I've never heard of anybody having anything near what I had, so okay. I just kind of thought, huh, that'd be kind of cool to share with people cuz every time I tell my story, they're like, oh, well that's really interesting. Like to know that, that how that happened to you.

Nicole: Right, right, right. I love it. I love it. Let's get into it. So why don't we start our first by you telling us what was pregnancy and prenatal care like?

Sydni: Um, I feel like it was really easy. Um, I didn't have very much morning sickness. I was sick in the beginning, like from six to 10 weeks maybe, but it was only when I ate or if I ate something like yogurt, I couldn't keep yogurt down. Or if I got really hungry, like I could when I needed to eat. But other than that, I was fine. It didn't start getting really rough until I was about six months and I got so swollen. Like, I couldn't wear shoes. I couldn't like I had to wear slippers or flip flops. None of my clothes fit. My face was all puffy. I had the sausage fingers, like it was awful.

Nicole: Gotcha. Gotcha. And then did your doctor like, were they just like, oh, this is just sort of how pregnancy goes?

Sydni: Yeah, they didn't really, they never said anything. My blood pressure was always good at my appointments. I never, they weren't concerned about it. My son's dad, his sister was a nurse and she kept telling me like, you're super swollen. Like, are they not saying anything about it? Are they not doing anything? I said, no, they're saying everything's fine. And it's just, I'm just retaining water, so.

Nicole: Gotcha. Gotcha. And were you seeing, uh, a doctor or a midwife?

Sydni: Um, I was seeing a doctor. Okay. I saw six different doctors within the practice.

Nicole: Did you rotate through all of 'em?

Sydni: Yeah. So the way they did it was they rotated so that if for some reason I went into labor and my normal doctor wasn't on call, I would know everybody, which I really liked that way. I felt comfortable who was there and it wasn't, you know, it wasn't oh my gosh, my doctor's not on call. I can't have my doctor not deliver my baby, like sure. Gotcha. So it made it a little bit easier knowing that I knew all the doctors.

Nicole: Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. And getting back to the, the yogurt, it made me think like, when I was pregnant is, is weird. How certain things will just like trigger you and you don't even understand it. Like, I couldn't eat Cheerios. They would make me throw up, throw up immediately.

Sydni: Like I wanted yogurt so bad and smoothies. And every time I ate them, it was, oh, I wanted, I vomited every time, even though I wanted them so bad.

Nicole: Oh goodness. And you felt, did you feel good about the care you received during your pregnancy?

Sydni: Yep. Like every, everything was really good. They gave me additional ultrasound pictures. Like they turned on the 3d sonogram and I got a couple pictures of him like that, even though he didn't wanna cooperate. So his hands were in front of his face, but I feel like they were really, everybody was always super nice. They were always very helpful. Any questions I had, they could answer them. Um, nice. So it was, yeah, it was a good experience. I loved my hospital that I delivered at. Like I'll have all of my kids there even though they're 30 minutes away now.

Nicole: Right. Right. Right. Well, that's great. That's great. And do you feel like, um, because you were fairly young, do you feel like you were treated a certain way because as you were young?

Sydni: I don't think so. I think they were a little more helpful because I was so young. Um, you know, like my parents had me when I was young and they were there with me the whole time and, but I felt like they were just more nurturing almost. Okay. Because I was young and they were really, you know, once I did finally have him, they were helpful. They showed me anything. I needed to know they were right there if I needed them, you know? So I felt like they almost were a little more nurturing than okay. Because I was so young.

Nicole: Gotcha. Gotcha. And then did you feel scared? I mean, I couldn't imagine pregnant at 19. Were you scared? Were you worried?

Sydni: Um, I was, at first I was scared, but I knew my family would be accepting and they, you know, even though they were a little upset at first, they were just as excited as I was. And now he's spoiled rotten and I can't imagine not having him. Yeah. Um, I feel like he almost made me kind of get my life together a little bit. Cuz I was like that hippy child that I was just gonna roam the world and I had no clue what I was gonna do. And after I had him, it just kind of all clicked and like my family now they're like, we never thought you would be the one to like have a good job and have your life together, and like you were gonna be this hippy child that was gonna go all over and we never knew where you were gonna be.

Nicole: Right. Right. Right. And now here you are. Yeah.

Nicole: Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. All right. And what part of the country are you in?

Sydni: I am in Missouri.

Nicole: Okay. All right. You are friends with Keli. Is that right?

Sydni: Yes. She's my neighbor.

Nicole: Oh, I love it. Love it. Y'all Keli. Keli is, is my like superstar amazing assistant who keeps me in line. So

Sydni: Hey, she keeps me in line sometime too. Like, I try to forget a lot of things if I wasn't like Keli to remind me.

Nicole: Right, right, right. She is. She is lovely. I love her dearly. All right. So let's get into, what did you do to prepare for your birth? If anything?

Sydni: I feel like I thought I was so prepared, leading up until when it actually happened. Um, so the night I went into labor, my mom and my grandma were actually at my apartment. Like we were getting the last of his room, done. My grandma had washed like six tubs of his clothes and brought them all over and I was getting his room ready, was sitting on his CLA I was sitting on the closet floor and I just remember like starting to get the contractions. And I thought, oh no, like it's just Braxton Hicks. It's fine. Like, everything's fine. Well then it was like a couple hours later and they were becoming stronger and more frequent. So I started timing them and I was sitting on the couch and I remember telling his dad, we've gotta go to the hospital. Like they're getting closer and closer.

Sydni: Like they're every two minutes. Like we gotta go to the hospital. Right. And he was playing video games and he just kind of stopped and stood there and was pacing up and down the stairs. And our dog was just sitting there looking at him like, what are you gonna do? Like what is going on? Like he could tell something was wrong. Right. Right. And as soon as I got to the hospital, all I remember telling my dad was, I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this. Like I'm not pushing this baby out. Like I'm not doing it. And my dad just looked at me and goes, yes, you are like, it's a little late for that.

Nicole: Right. Like,

Sydni: You're gonna do it.

Nicole: This is gonna happen.

Sydni: You don't have a choice.

Nicole: Yes. Yes. Now had you read books or taken a child birth education class or anything?

Sydni: Anything? Um, I had taken some classes through the hospital that they offered, you know, like the Lamazze coaching and things like that. And then I read, I watched a couple birth story videos and like YouTube videos, but I don't think anything ever like could fully prepare you. Yeah. Cause everybody's different and every situation's different. So I hundred percent don't think anything could have ever like fully prepared me. Like even if I have a, like when I have my next one, I don't think I'll be as prepared. Like cause you know, things happen and you think, oh yeah, you're so prepared, but you're not.

Nicole: Right. Right. Right. Right. So, um, was there anything that you wanted for your birth that you were like really wanting to have for your experience?

Sydni: Um, I don't think I really had any expectations for how it was gonna go or anything that I wanted. We did decide that we want, you know, we wanted it to just be us two in the room. We wanted that moment with our son. Like the first time we saw him, we wanted a little bit of time by ourselves. I did want this. Like I wanted our family to come in separately, like have our parents and then our like, and then like kind of go down a line and that didn't happen. And they all just kind of like rushed in and like bombarded me a little bit. So I was a little overwhelmed with that. Gotcha. But other than that, I didn't have any like real expectation of, I didn't wanna C-section at first. So I was kind of nervous about that. Like I wanted to try the all natural and then as soon as I, like, as I was like, I was so ready for my epidural, I was like, forget this. I'm not no way,

Sydni: That's out the window. Like I went through 12 hours without anything, no Tylenol, no nothing, because they were checking me for preeclampsia and I wasn't dilating fast enough. So I was at a two for hours. Well,

Nicole: Actually, yeah. Well let's back up then. Since that, that, that night, that night then when you started having the contractions, did you ended up going to the hospital? How far along, how far along were you?

Sydni: Yeah, so I was 36 weeks. Okay. Um, I went in at 10 o'clock that Wednesday night and I was super swollen when I wasn't. I was only on a two. Okay. And I was a tight two, like I wasn't dilating at all and I was sitting in there in so much pain and I remember them, them telling my mom, well, if we weren't checking her for pre for preeclampsia, we would just send her home with muscle relaxers and tell her to come back. And my mom looked at them, just like a ghost, almost like, what do you want her to do? Like, come back when he is falling out, like when does she come back? Right. And my mom was like, she's not leaving the hospital without having this baby. Like you're not sending her home. And they're like, well, no, we're gonna keep her for a while and monitor her. And she's like, I had to do, I had to collect all of my urine cuz they were checking me for preeclampsia Uhhuh because I was so swollen and my blood pressure was going up with every contraction.

Nicole: Do you remember how high your blood pressure was?

Sydni: Um, it was like 1 35 over 88 or 89. It wasn't up super high. Um, really the only reason they had kept me was because I was so swollen. Um, but we,

Nicole: Was it swelling any worse than it had been? Cause I

Sydni: I don't think so. I felt like I was just as swollen as I was at six months. I mean, I right. It was more in my ankles and my toes and my legs than anything. My hands in my face were puffy. Like you could obviously tell that I was swollen, but I was sitting in the bed and I remember my mom just looking at me going, you don't even look like you're nine months pregnant. Like you don't look like you're 36 weeks. Like your belly's so little, like I just had this little bump, like it wasn't in my stomach at all. Right. It was all in my face and my, my legs.

Nicole: Gotcha. Gotcha. So then what, what happened after that? You said you sat for a long time.

Sydni: Yeah, I sat for almost, it was about 12 hours or a little over 12 hours laying there.

Nicole: And how, and how frequently were you having contraction?

Sydni: Every two minutes. Like I got, I was up for 12 hours. Like I couldn't sleep because I was in so much pain. They couldn't give me any Tylenol or anything. Um, and then finally why that They finally did at like nine o'clock the next morning they got the okay to go ahead and give me Tylenol until the doctor could come in and check me I guess. Um, but they couldn't, they wouldn't give me an anything for it. So I was literally just laying there and having contractions every two, every two minutes for 12 hours. And then finally at around 10 o'clock that next morning the doctor came in and I was at a tight enough three that she went ahead and broke my water.

Nicole: And did they say, did they, did they say that you had preeclampsia?

Sydni: I did not. I didn't end up having it. I was just

Nicole: Okay.

Sydni: They, I don't know. They just said I was just, I just held water and everything was fine. My blood pressure was after I had gotten the pain under control, my blood pressure had went back down. Um,

Nicole: Gotcha.

Sydni: So I wasn't preeclamptic, but I finally got the epidural at about, after about 30 minutes them breaking my water. They finally gave me the epidural and I was able to rest and kind of sleep for several hours.

Nicole: Okay. And let me and lemme back up and say usually we don't do a lot at 36 weeks to intervene. Yeah. So was it that, did they say, like, we know you're a little bit early, but it looks like you're in labor. So that's why we're breaking your or now. Or was there any conversation around that?

Sydni: Yeah, they were worried about, they were worried that my blood pressure would go back up and they he had a strong heartbeat. He was healthy. They, they had no worries about him not being okay at 36 weeks so they were fine with me with breaking my water and just kind of, they were like, obviously like you're in active labor, like he's coming. So we're gonna, this is like, they, they finally were like, well, we're gonna break your water and get him out.

Nicole: Gotcha. Yeah. Gotcha. Okay. So then they broke your water, you got an epidural and you were finally able to get some, get some rest. Yeah.

Sydni: So I finally was able to rest, they did the peanut ball and I would switch sides every once in a while and was able to sleep for a while and then they would come in and check me every hour. So I started progressing. I was at a six.

Nicole: And about what time? About what time was that? Do you remember?

Sydni: Um, this was about four in the afternoon. Okay. So this is Thursday. The next day. It was about four in the afternoon, my mom and my grandma were with me the whole time. My son's dad was trying to sleep and he had, he had actually, they came in and checked me and I was at a six. And so he was like a, okay, well I'm gonna go get something to, I'm gonna go grab some food. I'm starving. I'm gonna go eat really quick. And he went to the gift shop and got some, you know, little things just because he was bored. And my mom, my grandma and her best friend were in the room with me. And my mom had gone outside to call my dad and update him. His, him and my sister were actually at day at the K. And they were worried that they were gonna miss something.

Sydni: So they didn't wanna, but they didn't wanna miss both. And my mom was like, oh no, it's her first baby. Like, she'll be here for a while. Like you guys can go, you'll have plenty of time. Right. And my brother was at school. And so him and his girlfriend had just gotten there and I started feeling a ton of pressure and like I needed to push, and so I was laying there and she had just came in and checked me and turned up my epidural and I was at a six and she was like, okay, like, you should start to go numb again here soon. Like you shouldn't feel anything. Well, it wasn't going away. I, I felt like I needed to push. And so I looked at my grandma and her best friend and I said, can you go get her? Something's not right. Like, I feel like I need to push, like, I'm gonna push 'em out. And they were like, like they started to freak out. They were like, what, what do you mean? Like, she just checked you like, not even two minutes ago and you were at a six. So she came back in the room and she was like, okay, well I'll check you again. You know, crazier things can happen. I just checked you a few minutes ago and you were at six, well, she checked me and I was at a nine and a half.

Sydni: Ready to go. Right, right. Right. And so I just remember laying there and I mean, it was within five minutes. Like I went from a six to a nine and a half in five minutes and I just remember them get it, like they started to get everything ready. Cause she was like, oh yeah, like you gotta go. Like where you to push, we're gonna get you ready. So they kicked my mom and her best friend out. And I, all I, all I remember was my grandma called my mom cuz she was downstairs outside and she says, Megan, Sydni's having the baby. And my mom's like, I know that like we've been here since 10 o'clock. I know she's having the baby. And she goes, no, like right now, like she's getting ready to have him now. And so my mom passed out outside.

Nicole: I'm sorry. Wait, get my mom. Did you say she passed out?

Sydni: She fainted outside. Yeah. She got queasy. And fainted outside in the lobby. So they got her under control and uh, like brought her up to the waiting room and she called my dad. They had walked in the door like literally right as I had delivered him, I only pushed for about 20 minutes. He was healthy. Five pounds, six ounce, little bird. Just, he looked like a little bird. Aw. I just felt like an instant relief. Like as soon as I pushed him out, like his head came out, all the other pain went away. Like I had no pain, no nothing. I dropped all my water weight almost instantly. And, and he was perfectly healthy.

Nicole: Love it. Love it. Love it. Yeah. And do you feel like you had good support with the nurses and the doctor who was there with you at the hospital?

Sydni: Yeah, they were very good. I kept like, I was so mean, like I was one of those yelling and screaming and I was so mean. I told that I think I told the nurse that if she didn't hurry up, I was just gonna push him out. And they were like, no, like don't push him out. It's okay. And I was just yelling, like telling them to hurry up because I was gonna push him out. Right. But they were very good about being able to coach me and like, like telling me what to do and how to keep him from going, like going back up. And they were very supportive, very helpful. And they were just, they were great the whole time I was there, even though I was so mean to them.

Nicole: You probably weren't as bad as you think we understand when people

Sydni: They were like, we're used to it. Like we get people telling us to shut up and everything all the time. Like we're used to it

Nicole: When people are in pain, especially we, we, we are totally used to it. So yeah. So then afterwards you said like you had a, a rush of family come like right away.

Sydni: Yeah. They were all in the waiting room. So my whole family, my mom, my dad, my grandparents, my brother, my sister, all of his family. He had a really big family. He had three older siblings with, I think my son was grandkid numbered nine or 10. So his nieces and nephews were all up there and I wanted to, like, I wanted to do it in stages. I wanted like our parents and then grandparents and then aunts and uncles. And then like all the cousins, like everybody else could come in and it didn't happen that way. Like everybody just kind of came in at once. So I was literal. I had literally just him and maybe they made us wait like 20 minutes before they let anybody come back. And as soon as they let everybody, everybody just like, yeah. It like, when you first have a baby, it's like, I wanted that moment.

Sydni: I wanted that time. And everybody was just con like my room was full of people. And I felt like it was that way, the entire time. Like I constantly had somebody in my room, no matter who, it was like, whether it was my family or his friends or somebody, somebody was always there at all times. And I feel like I kind of just wanted like that moment, you know, like a, like, even a couple hours of just us or just me and him, you know, with our son and, it just didn't happen that way, but I wouldn't, I still wouldn't change it because that's imp, I, I feel like that's important for everybody. And I mean, I definitely will do things differently with my next baby. Like, especially because I do have two other kids now, right. That are gonna be involved. So I think it'll be a little bit more understanding of, Hey, I want that moment of just us and our two kids with the new baby and that's it.

Nicole: Yeah. Yeah. 100%. I mean, these days, I mean, for the foreseeable future, I, it, people won't be allowed to come into the hospital because of COVID honestly, but even when you get home, you can still sort of set some parameters around, like yeah, yeah, yeah. So what was the postpartum period like for you?

Sydni: Um, I was attached to him. I didn't want anybody's help. I didn't want anybody doing anything. I didn't. I wanted to do it all and interesting. Yeah. I thought everybody like was really worried thinking that cuz I was very selfish. Like if I wanted to go to bed, I didn't care. He was there. I was going to bed. I didn't care. I didn't care if I had a house full of people or friends over or anything. I was going to bed when I was ready to go to bed. So my mom was like, Sydni, like you're really selfish. Like, I don't know. Like, I don't know how, like I'm kind of worried like how you're gonna do with this. Right. And, but it was almost a complete opposite. Like I didn't want anybody's help. I didn't want my mom's cuz they offered, obviously offered to stay with me, me.

Sydni: They offered for me to stay there for the first couple weeks just to get used to things and get in a routine. And I was like, Nope, I'm not doing it. I'm staying in my own house, my own bed. I wanna do it. All right. And I think it was, he was like a week and a half old and fi like I was so sleep deprived because I was up with him all day. My, his dad worked nights at and he had gone back to work and I was just completely sleep deprived. Like I had no, I hadn't slept in a week and a half. I was miserable. And so my mom finally like forced me to take the help almost. And I remember falling asleep in the chair at my grandparents in their basement. And he was, my mom was like, don't wake up.

Sydni: I'm gonna get up with him. I'll feed him. Like I will help you. I will do it. But it was, I still couldn't let her, like I still woke up and I still was like trying to take care of him, even though she was telling me to sleep. And she finally was like, okay, well clearly like you're not gonna let, so at least just let me like hold him or something. And then you can like, at least like, even though you're awake, you're still seeing everything I'm doing. And so it was just like the complete opposite. And I did, I had a little bit of postpartum depression just because my, I was 19, you know, I was 19. I was the young mom and my whole world had just changed and I was now responsible for a little person and just, I had lost a lot of my friends and my body and the li you know, like you think, oh, your friends are gonna stick around. Like, they're gonna be there. You're gonna be able to do the things you did before, but you can't. And so I got, I did, I got really overwhelmed at first, but I wouldn't change any of it.

Nicole: Sure. And I should ask, were you, were you breastfeeding at all?

Sydni: Um, I tried to breastfeed and then I didn't didn't produce enough milk. And so I dried up really fast, so I ended up just doing formula. Okay.

Nicole: Okay.

Sydni: And it was a little bit easier for us because when I did go back to work, I had family, you know, I had his parents helping me watch him. I had my mom watching him and it was just easier for us to do formula.

Nicole: Sure. 100%. Yeah. I can see that.

Sydni: Yeah. As long as he was fed and happy, I didn't really care. Yeah. You know, that's all I wanted was him to be healthy and happy and fed.

Nicole: Yeah. At what point did you go back to work?

Sydni: Um, he was three weeks old when I went back to work. Um,

Nicole: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Did you just say three weeks old?

Sydni: Yeah. So I worked, I actually worked with his grandma at the time at our apartment complex um, in their resource center with a bunch of kids. So I was able to like, it was right across the street from my house. I was able to take him with me. I was able to be there half the time I would go in before the kids got outta school and help her with a couple little things. And then she would tell me to go home. So I would just go home. Um, so I got really lucky that I was able to have him there with me still, but still making money at the same time. Gotcha. Cause half the time I was able to just go home.

Nicole: Okay. Okay. Okay. So you I'm glad, so you weren't going back to a typical job then?

Sydni: No, no, no, no, no, no. It wasn't a typical, like it was basically it's a resource. It was a resource center for the kids that lived at the apartment and it was the summertime. So they, we were getting ready for the summer program and the pool was open. So I was able to sit at the pool with him and like he, we put him in the pool and we went swimming and I could just sit up there and watch movies with him all day and half the time she would just I'd do a couple things for a couple hours. And then she would tell me to go home and I would just go walk across the street to my house. So it wasn't like a typical going back to work full time, like, gotcha. This is what I'm doing. Gotcha.

Nicole: Okay. Okay. Okay. And I wanna circle back, uh, the adjustments of like, you know, you thought your friends were gonna be there and things like that. How did you navigate that?

Sydni: Um, I really, I learned who my true friends were because the few that I do have, or that I had at that time, they were the only ones that stuck around. They were the only ones that didn't care. If I had a baby, you know, they love him just as much as I do. They helped me. They, but there was only like I had, you know, 20, 30 friends before where now I only had like three or four and it just, it made me like really open my eyes and see like who I was hanging out with. Wasn't really there. And they weren't my true friends anyways, because if they were, they would've been there the whole time and not just before I was a mom.

Nicole: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And how long do you feel like it was before you kind of adjusted to your new life?

Sydni: Um, I feel like I adjusted pretty quickly. I adjusted a lot quicker than his dad did. Um, you know, I was taking care of us. I was taking care of the baby. I was going to school. I was working like I was supporting us and I felt like he made me do better. He made me get my life together. He made me be that person that he needed. And his dad didn't adjust to that at all. Like his dad was still 20 years old and barely, I mean, he, like, he didn't, he couldn't even leave his mom long enough to even be a parent, like, right. So I feel like I adjusted a lot better than he did. Right. And so it was just kind of crazy to see like, cuz you think that, that like they tell you, oh, it'll change everybody. It changes everybody, but it doesn't it'll, you know, like sometimes in my situation I was the only one that changed and was affected and his dad stayed the same, so. Gotcha.

Nicole: Gotcha. Gotcha. And then I guess I have a final sort of weird question. Um, a lot of times so, or sometimes I see folks have children when they're young and then they turn around, have another child fairly quickly, even though the experience is hard the first time,were you like I'm getting on birth control or I'm not gonna this I,

Sydni: Yes, I got on birth control right away. Right at my six week appointment. I got right back on it. I was not having another one. I was not, no, I was not. I was like, no, I need to, like, I wanted to finish school. I wanted to his dad and I obviously did not stay together. Um, so I felt like I had to, I had to do better for him and I, before I even thought about bringing another baby into the world, like I wanted to finish school. I wanted to be with somebody that was gonna love both of us and build a life and do it right the second time, I guess. Yeah. You could say.

Nicole: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Gotcha. That makes complete sense. Complete sense. Yeah. So then as we wrap up, is there anything that we missed that you wanna share and then I'll ask you, what, what, what is your favorite piece of advice that you like to give to folks?

Sydni: Um, the it's just kind of crazy. Like now, like my son went from being an only child, a spoiled rotten, you know, he was my first and my family's first, just like I was. And so he was spoiled rotten and it's just crazy to see how well he has adjusted to like now having my stepdaughter who's six and older than him and his dad is actually now re like he is married and they have triplets and a newborn under the age of one. Yeah. So it's just like, I was kind of worried at first, like, oh, like he's not gonna adjust very well. Like he's so used to being alone, especially over at his dad's. Cause he was the only baby sure. In the house. And he went from having all of the attention to having triplets and then exact like the triplets and the new baby are 13 months apart. So it's like, he went from having no siblings to having five all within like a short time, but he adjusted so well and he loves his, he calls them his babies. Aw. And he loves my stepdaughter and he's ready for me to have more. And I'm like, no, dude, like I gotta get through a wedding. I'm graduating in June. And like let's slow down a little bit.

Nicole: Yeah

Sydni: But he's excited and he's just, he's so sweet and so smart. And I just enrolled him in kindergarten the other, yesterday and was crying in my car on my way home because I just enrolled him in kindergarten.

Nicole: Aw. I love it. Love it. Love it. Yeah. So then what is your favorite piece of advice that you would tell other folks as they get ready for their birth?

Sydni: Take the help.

Nicole: You said that. So I couldn't get it out before you,

Sydni: If somebody's offering to give him a, to give the baby a bath or wake up in the middle of the night and help you and feed them, take help. Let 'em clean your house. Let 'em. I felt like I had to do it all. I felt like I had to be the one to take care of him while taking care of my house. I didn't want anybody's help. I was stubborn and I should have let them help a lot more than I did. Um, but if they're offering to like clean or cook you dinner or something, take the help. Just take,

Nicole: Just take it.

Sydni: Yeah. Just take the help. You'll you'll want the help.

Nicole: Love it. Excellent advice. Yes. Well thank you so much Sydni for agreeing to come on to the podcast and share your story. I so, so appreciate it.

Sydni: Yeah. Thank you.

Nicole: All right. Wasn't that a great conversation. I really enjoyed chatting with Sydni and hearing about her birth story now, you know, after every episode, when I have a guest on, I do something called Doctor Nicole's Notes where I talk about my top of three or four takeaways from the episode, here are my Dr. Nicole's notes from my conversation with Sydni. So one, I just wanna say a couple things about labor in general. Okay. So number one, obviously I don't know her whole history and what was going on during her labor. So I'm not like second guessing what her doctors did, but in general, we don't break someone's water at three centimeters. If they're 36 weeks, we typically don't tip the scales either way at 36 weeks to like stop labor or progress labor. So that's not something that is pretty typical to do something like break anybody's water at 36 weeks.

Nicole: Second thing about labor is that she mentioned getting Tylenol for pain during labor. I'm gonna be honest. That's probably not gonna do a whole lot of, much of nothing to help with pain during labor. Tylenol is great for a headache, not so much for contraction. So I was kind of surprised that the offer was really just Tylenol. Cause it really does not. Um, it it's just not strong enough to help with contractions. And then, uh, the third thing she said is that, you know, she hadn't heard of anybody who dilated that fast and actually it's not as uncommon as people might think. You don't necessarily hear lots of stories about, but that can happen. No, maybe it's not typical, but it can certainly happen that birth can go pretty fast. Sometimes even doctors don't pay attention when women say, Hey, I feel like something has changed because it really, really can.

Nicole: So those are those few things about labor. That's the number one Doctor Nicole's Notes. Now number two is it is great to accept help, but I want you to be comfortable or don't be afraid to set some boundaries around that help. So what I mean by that is it is okay to tell people like, Hey, I'm not accepting visitors now. Or you can come this day or you can come that day or here are the things that you can do or you can't do. You don't just have to say, oh yes, sure, to everything it is okay to set boundaries around the help that you receive. You don't just have to accept whatever comes your way. Okay. You can set up or ask for help or set boundaries in a nice way, of course, but in a way that works best for you. And then the third thing or third, Dr.

Nicole: Nicole's Notes is that I'm gonna disagree a bit with Sydni about not being able to be prepared, being prepared is possible. No you can't, you, you can't know every single thing that's potentially going to happen about birth, but you can have some general ideas that can help you feel better and know about the possible things that can happen. If even if you don't understand all of the exact details. Now of course, one of the ways to be prepared about birth is with great childbirth education. That's what you get inside the Birth Preparation Course, my signature online childbirth education class that will get you calm, confident, and empowered to have the beautiful birth, especially in the hospital. I know folks want, uh, in person, child birth education, that's totally fine. But if you are someone who wants online child birth education, you can do it when it's convenient for you, do it with your partner.

Nicole: And it is also phenomenal. It is absolutely phenomenal. If I do say so myself, then check out the Birth Preparation Course at drnicolerankins.com/enroll. And if you dm me on Instagram and ask me for a discount code, um, on Instagram @drnicolerankins, I'll give you a little code, get a little some off the course. So, and also you can be prepared for your post partum recovery by getting the postpartum recovery products from this week's episode sponsor Lansinoh. When I was a breastfeeding mama back in the day I used their breastfeeding products. Absolutely love them. So it's a delight to work with Lansinoh now and talk about their amazing postpartum recovery line, the birth prep and recovery postpartum care line. Again, amazing products that upside down postpartum wash bottle is going to come in handy. Those hot and cold therapy packs. You can use both vaginally.

Nicole: You can use the cold for on top of your C-section incision. If you happen to have a C-section, there's a soothing herbal spray, there's a, a numbing spray. So, um, lots of great product. And again, I put my hands on all of them. They're all fantastic. And I'm so excited to share them with you today. So you can head to lansinoh.com/aapb to learn more about all of the products and the birth prep and recovery line. That is L a N S I N O h.com/a a P B. All right. So there you have it, please, please do me a favor. If you like this podcast, share it with a friend, screenshot it, um, send it to a friend. So if you like it, sharing is caring. Also subscribe to the podcast in Apple Podcast or wherever you're listening to me right now and leave that review in Apple Podcast in particular, it helps the show to grow.

Nicole: And I love hearing what you have to say, to say about this show. And from time to time, I do shoutouts in the podcast episode from those reviews. So go ahead and head on over to Apple Podcast and leave me a review. I would so appreciated also, uh, check out the Birth Preparation Course again, can get calm, confident and empowered for your birth all from the comfort of your own home. Do it when it's convenient for you. Check out all the details at drnicolerankins.com/enroll and DM eme on Instagram @drnicolerankins. I'll give you that little discount code. All right. So that's it for this episode, do come on back next week and remember that you deserve a beautiful pregnancy and birth.

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